The Spinach Incident
by Unolai
Summary: Another Wicked sidefling. Remember that mysterious green stain on the ceiling in the kitchen? Read if you want to find out how it got there! Rated for language.


**Prince Elmo:** This little sidefling is the story behind 'the suspicious, dark-green stain on the ceiling, right above the microwave' I mentioned in chapter 7 of my story The Big Wicked Sequel. It's something I wrote to get my sparkle back. Nothing special, just a little funny, no hilarious story here. I hope you find it entertaining.

The story is set in a scenario where Jaiden has been forced to stay indoors a couple of days.

**Jaiden:** (walks in, with a fake mustach drawn on her upperlip) **Say, ol' chaps! None is owned by Prince Elmo, but me. I'm her so-called bitch!**

**[Update:]  
Do NOT try this at home! Do NOT try to make things explode in your microwave! IT'S SERIOUSLY DANGEROUS, PEOPLE! But if you must, I will NOT be held responsible for ANYTHING that catches fire! **

I'm looking at YOU, _Mekia_. You crazy f*ck.

**(And for your information; microwaved spinach is actually toxic, so don't eat it!)**

* * *

The past few days have been pure torture. There's no other way to describe it as the deepest, hottest, inner circles of Hell. Not only are you forced to stay indoors all the time, the gang also made the house Jaiden-proof.

Which means they took out all sharp objects, anything you can bounce on, everything even vaguely shaped like a ball, most cabinets have a child-lock on them (goddamn it!), there's nothing left containing caffeine or sugar and Kurama put a block on the tv, so it only shows informative programs.

Such fun-killing bastards. All of them!

There's nothing left to kill your boredom. With the wards up, there's no where to go. No where you're safe. No escape possible. Kuwabara and Yusuke play their boring card game, Hiei is nowhere to be found, while Kurama tries to entertain you with the most boring activities known to mankind.

Just this morning, he suggested you could help him clean the kitchen, before inviting you to watch an 'interesting documentary about the life of a sea urchin'.

"_Yeah, like that's ever going to happen!"_

No, thanks. You'd rather die quickly, like regular people.

So, while the guys have their stupid, boring fun in the living room, you figured you could have your fun kind of fun in Kurama's spotless kitchen.

Out of sight.

And hearing range.

Insert evil cackle.

* * *

"Crazy, am I? We'll see whether I'm crazy or not." You mutter quietly to yourself. In your hands, you cradle your latest prize. It came from the only place they forgot to childproof and you stroke it gently with your fingers. Your plan is already formed in your mind.

You can clearly hear Kurama's voice in your head, telling you that what you're about to do is very dangerous. It brings a small smile to your face.

"Dangerous? Poor, old Kurama. Have you never wanted to do anything that was dangerous?" You question, slowly walking over to the microwave.

"Where should we be if no one tried to find out what lies beyond? Have you never wanted to look beyond the clouds and the stars, or to know what causes the trees to bud? And what changes the darkness into light?" You rip open the packaging and empty it on the revolving plate. The mass comes down with a hard thump. With an exaggerated flourish of your hand, you close the little door, push the start button and watch the little light spring to action.

"But if you talk like that, people call you crazy. Well, if I could discover just one of these things, what eternity is, for example, I wouldn't care if they did think I was crazy." Fascinated and with baited breath, you watch the odd green mass spin around and slowly melt. Your greatest creation coming to life! You jump excitedly when the green something begins to grow and bubble rather aggressively.

"Look! It's moving. It's alive. It's alive... It's alive, it's moving, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!"

You laugh out loud and dance from one leg onto the other, your bright white lab coat swishing around your legs with every turn. With a graceful pirouette, you spin away from the microwave, black with violet hair fanning out. You dance a happy victory dance through the kitchen, not noticing the increasing violence of the swelling mystery compound.

With your re-enactment of Flash Dance complete, you stride back towards the slightly rumbling microwave and strike a fantastic pose.

"Oh, in the name of God! Now I know what it feels like to be God!"

POP! POP! POP! BUBBLE! SPLAT!

You open your eyes just in time to see the little window get completely covered in green mush. A weird rumbling noise comes from deep within, a sense of dread settles in your stomach.

"….Oh crud…."

* * *

The sense of peace and quiet is heavenly in the living room. The tv shows a man pointing out some strange coral in full scuba gear, the volume turned low, the friendly card game is being kept friendly for once and Hiei stares silently out the window.

It's lovely.

It's calm.

BOOM!

And it's over.

The occupants in the room jump in unison, as a loud explosion can be heard from the kitchen, followed by a weird, wet sounding kind of splatter. They jump to their feet and rush towards the door. The worst case scenario is already on their mind.

Someone has tried to invade the house, to kidnap you.

But they come to a screeching halt when you emerge from the kitchen, showing no signs of distress. Your eyes are calm and your face is set in an expression one can only call 'vaguely bored', as you take in their surprised, horrified faces. You don't blame them, looking the way you do;

Your short hair, which normally hangs around your face in a soft, elegant bob, has spiked up in just about every direction possible. The weird, long coat you're wearing, as well as your face, is covered in forest green, slightly slimy goop that slowly slides down onto the floor. The smell of over-cooked spinach fills the room.

After a ten second, silent pause, you reach up and wipe your face, before wiping your hand on Yusuke's shirt.

Who only continues to stare.

You clear your throat, before addressing a stunned Kurama. "You missed a spot."

Then, you calmly turn and walk away, revealing that the coat you're wearing is completely starch white on the back. Their eyes on you all the way. Once you've disappeared upstairs, their brain seems to be kicked into gear.

"Eeehhhh…." Kuwabara starts.

"Right…." Yusuke agrees.

"Was that….Spinach?"

"Hn."

"And where on earth did she find a labcoat?"

"Don't ask me, you're the brainiac here!"

"Say, Kurama?"

"Yes, Kuwabara?"

"We're going out to eat, aren't we?"

"Yes, Kuwabara. Yes, we are."

* * *

**Prince Elmo:** Rule 01: You never leave Jaiden alone with a functioning microwave. Kurama learned that the hard way.

**Jaiden:** (giggles) I made a mess!

**Prince Elmo:** And those who recognise what Jaiden says as quotes from the original Frankenstein movie (1931) GETS EXTRA INTERNETPOINTS! 8D


End file.
